You are beautiful!

As a therapist, I am constantly learning from my clients, personally and professionally.  Yesterday one of my clients had the most amazing quote (though I don't know where is originated from):

You're not ugly... Society is!

Isn't that amazing?  I must say, it really moved me and I believe that often times this is oh so true!

Have a beautiful day!

Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging ~ Can Playing in Mud Make You Feel Better?

Beautiful Blogging ~ Can Playing in Mud Make You Feel Better?



So it's true, I have returned from the beach where it was rather cold and rainy, but the beach non-the-less!  I saw some absolutely beautiful blossoms in South Carolina and I was sooooo jealous!  Here in Western New York there's still a bit of snow and we are "patiently" awaiting our blooms!  But in the interest of all of my friends, near and far, I thought it would be a good time to post this.

If you're like me, you can't wait to get out in the yard and begin digging and planting. Gardening has become a recent passion of mine and while I am far from a master gardener, I sure do enjoy it. I adore the instant gratification of viewing my hard work: the trimmed bushes, the beautiful rainbow of colors poking through the freshly planted pots, and the neatly trimmed grass. Moreover, I can get literally get lost in all the digging and pulling and planting, not a care in the world. It's hard work but oh so satisfying. As a clinical social worker I often recommend to my clients that they try gardening as a mean of relaxation and meditation as you literally become entranced in your work and think of little else. But did you know that gardening can actually help you feel better?

Scientist have recently discovered that playing in the dirt can actually enhance the mood. Mycobacterium vaccae, a bacteria that is naturally occurring in soil, is thought to stimulate the production of serotonin and norepinephrine in the brain (2) which just might improve the immune system and mood. A lack of serotonin is linked with depression in people. Scientists at Bristol University discovered that lung cancer patients being treated with Mycobacterium vaccae noted improvements in the quality of life. Further, research done with mice exposed to this bacteria have shown increased amounts of serotonin in their brains (1). Thus, more research is being conducted to determine if Mycobacterium vaccae has antidepressant qualities.

So now you have another reason to get out in the garden. Not only will you have a beautiful yard and yummy home-grown veggies, but you may also enhance your mood, naturally!


Big Hugs!


Jacalyn



References:

1 - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6509781.stm

2 - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mycobacterium_vaccae

Beautiful Blogging ~ The 411 on Gel Nail Polish

Have you heard about the new Gel Nail Polish?  It's supposed to last for 2 weeks without chipping and it is becoming all the rage.

I

source

These nail polishes are referred to as "soak off" nail gels because you must soak off the gel rather than simply removing it like traditional nail polish.  Gel nail polish is supposed to be easy on the nail and last like forever!

You must have this done by a professional because it has to "cure" under a UV light after each coat.  The procedure is the same in that the nail technician uses a base coat, 2 color coats, and a top coat but then each coat must cure before the next one is applied.  Thus, it takes more time and is about twice in cost as a traditional manicure.  The beauty lies in the results.  Once you are done, you are dry.  You leave the salon with absolutely no worries about chipping, banging, or smudging your nail color.  Of course if you like to change your color frequently gel nail polish may not be for you!  Also, some fear it may damage the nail if not properly removed.

source

There are so shortage of choice these day in terms of colors.  OPI Axxium for example has over 40 shades.  Shellac is also another popular brand.

source

So after reading all about Gel Nail Polish what is a girl to do who must, yes must, have a weekly manicure or she feels totally discheveled?  Well, of course the answer is try it, duh!  It was hard actually finding a salon near me that was using it but I lucked out one day and accidentally stumbled in one.  I made the mistake of buying some on eBay, misunderstanding initially that you needed the UV dryer which of course I don't have. 

So far I've tried it twice.  I don't actually remember the brand name that my salon uses.  The first time the color actually started peeling after about 9 days and I was not a happy camper!  Plus, it easily peeled off my nails after I started messing with it.  Ugh!  I actually had to have nude nails for a day until I could make it to the salon.  It really was traumatic!

But, I decided to try it one more time.  I thought this could save me time in the long run so what the heck!

This time the color is actually lasting.  No chips, no smudges, no nothing!  It still shines like the day I got it done.  Interestingly, after curing it with the UV light, my technician swipes the color with a bit of alcohol to allow it to dry.  It is not completely dry after the curing.  Once he applied the alcohol though it was dry. 

So here's my opinion on gel nail polish:

Pro's

• It's completely dry when you leave the salon.  No worries about smudging or scraping.
• It really does last for at least two weeks and stays shiny and bright.
• Saves time - no fix ups in-between manicures and only a trip every two weeks.

Cons

• It is more expensive.  A bottle can run at least 17 dollars, usually more.  The manicure is more expensive too (but it equals out if you only go every other week).
• The nail still grows which means you will see the nail near the cuticle the second week.
• You will spend longer in the salon "curing."

Clearly, I have mixed feelings about the gel.  I am a bit picky, okay, anal, so the re-growth is actually driving me nuts!  While I don't like chips, the regrowth is driving me bonkers!  Plus, I always bring my own regular nail color to the salon so I can fix any chips throughout the week.  So for me, I think I may go back to regular color.  Maybe if I am going to have a busy week or two I will get the gel, but for the most part I will stick to traditional nail colors.  But, I haven't tried it for a pedicure yet, ha!

I would love to know if you've tried and what your thoughts are!

Have a beautiful week!

OXOXOX,

Jacalyn





Go Bold this Spring ~ Beautiful Blogging

So are you all just as ready for Spring and Summer as I am?  I really, really need to see the sunshine and feel the warmth in the air. I am soooooo done with Winter.  Mother Nature it's time to move on!

One of the first things I do for Spring is to check out the new makeup trends.  I know, you all thought I was going to say something like check my gardens or clean up the yard, ha!  Well a girl has to have her priorities, right?  I think you all know by now that I absolutely adore makeup.  It's fun, it hides flaws, and enhances our beauty.  So I ask you, what's not to love!

The colors of Spring and Summer still seem to be fuchsia and coral.  But, the theme is BOLD!  Are you ready for that?  Oh I so am!  According to Fashion Magazine the lips are coated in a bright fuchsia or orange.

Dior at Sephora

Lorac @ Sephora

Fashion Magazine also notes that a bright, bold eye is all the rave this Spring.  Just remember though that you don't do both at the same time.  Choose one and downplay the other.  I tend to prefer to highlight my eyes, mainly because I love to play with eyeshadow. 

Are you bold enough for blue?  I love to use this shade as an eyeliner.  For me, it really enhances my brown eyes!

How about green?  All hues of green too!  If you're bold go with the lime green.  If you're not so bold go with the moss green.  Check out Stylelist for more on green.  Oh and scroll down to the end of the page because there's a great tutorial on the smoky eye!  I sure do love me some smoky eyes!

A pretty pallet from Stila

Real Beauty advises "For a fun, nighttime look, start by applying lighter lilac shades on the inner corners of the eye and darker lavender and plum hues as you move outwards on"

Super pretty, yes?  I think you can modify this look to work for daytime too!  Don't be afraid to use some bright purple on those eyelids.  What fun and oh so chic! 

Have you tried the SmokyShadow Blast from Covergirl?  They have some awesome color combinations and there's no guess work!  Super pretty.



 

Don't be afraid to shine this season.  And, there's plenty to choose from so you can shop in your price range.

Covergirl, Mabelline, and Revlon all have great colors to choose from as do Estee Lauder and Elizabeth Arden. 

Now, get out there and be bold this Spring!

Hugs,

Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging - Beating the Winter Blues

So the holidays are over and the reality of Winter has set in.  Cold, ice, snow, lack of sunshine, ugh!!!!!  If you're like me then you're already counting down the days until Spring - flowers, sun, warmth,  - ahhhhh...  For some of you that will start next month.  For others, March.  Still for some of us even later.  Here in Western New York we sometimes have to wait until April!  This time of year can lead to frustration, dysphoria, and the "Winter Blues." 

The good news is that you can beat those ol' Winter time blues!  Here are some tips that can help us through:

• Maintain your schedule and routine!  This can be hard to do when it's cold and windy but it is oh so important.  Get up about the same time each day, eat your meals about the same time, and complete at least one task each day.  I know it's so easy to hibernate but it's not helpful.
• Exercise!  I think we all know the benefit of exercise these days, both mentally and physically.  While it's easier to exercise when the sun is shining, don't forget we need these benefits all year long!  Exercise not only relieves stress but it also releases endorphins, the "feel good" hormones.
• Eat healthy!  I think we all tend to indulge a bit around the holidays but try to get back on track.  We need to eat good quality food to maintain our energy level.  So think about what you're eating, particularly if you're appetite is a bit suppressed.
• Schedule fun activities!  Again, I think this is so much easier in the warmer months but still as important during the Winter.  You may need to be creative, but schedule something you enjoy at least once a week.  See a movie, go to a favorite restaurant, spend some time at your local bookstore, take a walk - whatever you deem fun, do it!
• Socialize!  Don't hibernate all Winter.  Spend time with friends and family.
• Laugh!  We all need a good laugh right?  It's a great stress reliever and can make any day brighter.  Watch a funny movie or hang out with those who make you laugh.
• Engage regularly in stress-reducing activities!  What helps you relax?  Exercise? Journaling?  Friends?  A hot bath?  A good book?  Whatever that is for you, engage in it!
• If your symptoms persist or are severe please seek medical assistance.  Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real disorder that is more severe than the "Winter blues" that can successfully be treated.  You don't have to suffer.

This list is certainly not exhaustive and is in no way intended to replace professional medical care.  But is can certainly help those of us who need a little boost this winter. 

In the meantime think of this...

Have a wonderful week!

OXOXOX,

Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging and Holiday Stress

Yay, it's the Holiday Season!  I absolutely love the holidays - the lights, the gifts, the music, the food, the hustle and bustle... I love it all.  But, the holiday season also brings about significant stress for many of us.  The lights, the gifts, the music, the food... all contribute to this.  So I have some tips that might prove helpful to all of us this year in keeping stress to a minimum.  Yes, I know, we have probably all heard this before but I think it's helpful to read through them again.

• Set Priorities - this means that maybe you really can't do it all and you need to decide what is most important to you.  For example, do you need to send 100 Holiday cards out or can you just send a few to those closest to you.  Also, how many batches of cookies do you really need? 
• Simplify - again, choose what's important and maybe do things on a smaller scale.  Instead of baking yourself, what about getting something from a bakery or participating in a cookie exchange where you only bake 1 or 2 kinds and exchange with several friends and family members.
• Maintain reasonable expectations about "togetherness" - you don't have to attend every holiday event you're invited to nor do you have to invite everyone to your home.  Keep in mind too that "too much" togetherness can create a lot of stress!  Conversely, if you have little family near you invite friends over for a get together and/or volunteer your time to help others throughout the holiday season.
• Establishing a schedule can be immensely helpful!  After you decide what is important to you make a schedule to complete tasks and don't forget to delegate!  Don't attempt to complete everything yourself and don't be afraid to delegate!
• Maintain your own schedule, meaning stick to your exercise routine, eating and sleep habits and schedule down time.  I know there will be some variation of course, but try to maintain your schedule as best you can.  Eating well, getting enough sleep, and regular exercise are key components in managing stress.
• Nurture yourself - take a hot bubble bath, read a book, hit the gym - whatever you enjoy - just do it on a regular basis!
• Set a budget and stick to it - decide what you can afford to spend and stick to it!  Don't stress yourself out assuming you need to spend a lot of money on gifts.  I think gifts just need to be thoughtful and relevant to the person, not necessarily expensive.  Consider browsing thrift shops and re purposing an item you know someone would love.  Also, bake some goodies  or create cookies or soup jars to give as gifts.  There's tons of recipes on the Internet for creating cookie jars and you can buy canning jars inexpensively.  Simply place a pretty tag and ribbon on it.  Easy and cheap!

Holidays are supposed to be fun!  I really like to enjoy everything the seasons brings and keep stress to a minimum.  I have decided to spend less money this year and we never use credit cards anymore.  That certainly minimizes any worries about money in the New Year.  I would love to hear your strategies for minimizing stress this holiday season.

Happy Holidays!

Hugs,
Jacalyn

Source

Beautiful Blogging ~ Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Click here to visit http://www.carolsutton.net/pinkribbon.html

As you most likely know October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  As such, I thought I would dedicate this Beautiful Blogging post to some key points in maintaining our breast health.  Of course I am not a medical professional and I am in no way offering any medical advice.  I just thought I would pass along some information that may be helpful.  Any questions or concerns about your breast health should most certainly be discussed with your health care professional.

~I think you would have to live under a rock if you didn't know that mammograms should be done yearly on women over 40.  I know that there has been some discussion about the benefit of women under 50 having mammograms but the best thing to do is speak with your doctor.  The guidelines have not changed as far as I can determine.  Click here to read more about mammograms.  While they are a tad uncomfortable, they are an awesome diagnostic tool and should not be disregarded.  A mammogram can detect changes even before you can feel the changes.

~It is important not to dismiss any changes in your breasts.  Of course we know that a lump may be indicative of a problem but look for other changes too.  A rash, changes in the nipple and other symptoms may also indicate a problem that you should speak with your doctor about.  Click here to read more about symptoms.

~It is essential to complete a breast self-exam so that you are familiar with your breasts in terms of texture, size, and skin condition.  Exams should be done at least monthly and should be done a few days after your period.  Even if you have gone through menopause, exams need to be completed each month.  Click here for a great guide on examining your breasts correctly.  Click here for a free print out on Breast Self-Exam.

~Click here to read about potential risk factors in breast cancer from the Susan G. Koman Foundation site. 

Please be sure and take care of your breast health!  It doesn't consume that much time and when detected early, survival rates are much higher.

Have a wonderful week!

Hugs,
Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging ~ Turning back time?

Hello!  A while back I received quite a few requests for anti-aging products.  I've been meaning to do a post for Beautiful Blogging but some how this has remained on the back burner.  Imagine my surprise and delight when I ran across a great article on this while browsing a magazine at the beach.  The article, Good Housekeeping's First Annual Anti-Aging Awards, can be found here and in the November issue of Good Housekeeping.  You can also find out their methods of determining the winners but for this post I will just give you their rundown of some of the winners.  Be advised that some of these products are pricey!  I guess you have to decide if it's worth it.


Night Cream (tie)

-L'Oreal Paris Advanced Revitalift Deep-Set Wrinkle Repair Night Creme
-Vichy LiftActiv Retinol HA Night

Eye Cream
-Olay Pro-X Restoration Complex

Anti-Aging Serum
-Boots No7 Protect & Perfect Intense Beauty Serum

Instant Wrinkle Smoother (tie)
-Boots No7 Intensive Line Filler
-Olay Regenerist Filling + Sealing Wrinkle Treatment

Age-Spot Fader
-Roc Multi Correxion Tone Perfecting Treatment

Instant Redness Reducer
-Clinique Redness Solutions Instant Relief Mineral Powder

There are some more products and they do list some "honorable mentions" so you may want to read the entire article.  I haven't really used any of these products except the Clinique Redness reducer which I thought was okay.  Maybe I'll have to give it another shot since soooo many woman seemed to favor this.  Lately, I have been using Estee Lauder Advance Night Repair but honestly I can't tell if this works or not.  As for moisturizer, I use Neutrogena Healthy Skin Face Lotion SPF 15 because my dermatologist recommended it some years ago for the Alpha-Hydroxy.  Plus my skin is oily and clogs easily so this lotion seems to work well for me.  I would love to hear what you love and believes works for you.

Have a great day!

OXOXOX,
Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging ~ Let's Makeup

It's officially fall now!  Well I do so love fall I just dislike what follows and seems to last FOREVER!!!  But, with each new season we see new (or recycled) ideas and fall is no different!  Since I get bored easily, ha!, this works for me.  And, I have to tell you, I am loving, yes, loving, this fall's makeup trends:  Purple!  Yay!  I so love makeup in hues of purple.  Purple nails, purple lips, purple eyes, oh purple everything! And, the beauty (no pun intended) of this is that you can use whatever shade of purple works best for you! 

I actually have this palate from Estee Lauder and I am in love!  They give you suggestions on their site on how to apply which I like, but there's so much more you can do with this - just play around and see what you live!

I have recently discovered that, in my little own opinion, Revlon makes the BEST nail color.  The color lasts and lasts and boy am I hard on my nails!  Lots of purple shades to choose from too!

Can you wear a deep plum shade?  Me, not so much but there are some lighter shades that are beautiful!  Click on the picture and it will take you to Sephora's Fall Trends - Power Plums page.  Awesome array of purple hues for lips, nails, and eyes!

Click on any picture, BTW, and it will direct you to the site I found it on!

Happy fall!

OXOXOX,
Jacalyn

It the Happiest of Pink Saturdays and "Cake Balls"

Welcome to Pink Saturday!  I have a treat for you all this week!  Remember a few posts ago when I told about Bakerella and her fabulous blog?  I absolutely adore her site and threatened to attempt her recipe for cake balls!  Well, I did it!  They were absolutely delicious but not nearly as pretty as I would have like.  But, that just gives me a reason to keep practicing, he, he!   Here's Bakerella's recipe for the cake balls but I will share how I did it too.

The way I figure it, you can pretty much use any combination to create these so I chose what I have on hand:  strawberry cake mix and strawberry frosting.  Of course you can start from scratch too.

 I baked the cake as usual and let it completely cool.  Then I crumbled it up and added the frosting.

Be advised that this is very messy!  I found the easiest thing to do was to just use my hands to mix it all up!  It is a super moist mixture once the frosting is incorporated.  Then roll them into balls, about the size of a quarter.

Put them on a cookie sheet and refrigerate until they are very firm.  I put them in the freezer for a while.  It is really important that they are very cold before you place them in chocolate.

I used baking wafers for the chocolate.  Simply melt them and roll your chilled cake balls, one at a time, until they are completely covered.  Place on wax paper until the chocolate hardens.

There you are!  Very, very simple yet time consuming because of the various steps and wait time.  I do apologize for the icky pictures.  For some reason I just couldn't get good pictures.

What I learned:

~Make sure your cake balls are very cold before covering them in chocolate.
~You can use any flavors you like - imagine the combinations!
~White chocolate would be good too.  You can even color it if you like.
~Use a double boiler to melt the chocolate.  It works much better than the microwave.
~Use only a little bit of melted chocolate at a time as it hardens quickly.
~Practice will make them prettier (I hope!).

I would love to hear what combinations you make up!  As a side note I have to tell you that while I was taking pictures of the process my hubby states "oh is that for your Pink Saturday?"  I actually hadn't planned on it and was just going to post this week.  But, they are pink and so I figured great idea!  How cute is that?  Hubby keeping track of my PS!

Be sure to visit Beverly to see all of the great pinks this week.

Happy PS,
Jacalyn

P.S.  I am attempting the cupcake bites this weekend!  I will update you!

Beautiful Blogging ~ a not so beautiful topic ~ Domestic Violence

I thought I would tackle a tough issue this week!  In my work as a therapist I meet so many woman who are being abused that don't even realize it!  Of course physically abused women are quite aware they are being abused but what about other forms of abuse?  I found this definitions from http://www.domesticviolence.org/definition/ and I think it is quite accurate. "Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating."

Examples of abuse include:
■name-calling or put downs
■keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends

■withholding money

■stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job

■actual or threatened physical harm

■sexual assault

■stalking

■intimidation
 
Understand that domestic violence is about CONTROL! It is never the victim's fault nor do we ASK for it!  It is about CONTROL!!!!!  So often I hear "well it was my fault.. or I egged him on... or I hit him too."  The fact of the matter is people don't "egg" anyone on because we are all responsible for how we react or respond to any situation.  Moreover, it is not all that uncommon for victims to begin fighting back as they grow weary of the abuse.
 
Domestic Violence can include physical, sexual, emotional, financial, & verbal abuse.  Below is the Power & Control Wheel which is a great tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent relationships in which the perpetrator uses to control his partner.
 

You can find this here which you'll be able to read a bit better.  Or click on the picture for a larger view.  After reviewing the Power and Control Wheel do you perhaps see yourself?  Or someone you know?  It is hard to know exactly how common domestic violence is because it often goes unreported.  Please note that domestic violence affects everyone - no matter your race, education level, or income level.  While I realize that I am focusing on women, men too can be victims.

Domestic violence is cyclical which means it generally follows a pattern or cycle.  It begins with an "incident" or some form of dv, which is then followed by the "makin up" stage which is followed by the "calm" (aka the honeymoon stage) which is followed by the "tension building" stage.  Of course not all dv relationships follow this cycle and the making up  and calm stages may even disappear.  For more information please visit http://www.domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence/

 
I really get disturbed when I hear remarks such as "why doesn't she just leave him?"  Obviously if it were that simple most would just walk away.  However, many women are psychologically "beaten down," financially controlled, or don't believe for whatever reason that they can escape. 
 
Where to Turn for Help
In an emergency:

Call 911 if you need immediate assistance or have already been hurt.

For advice and support:
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

For a safe place to stay:
Call your state’s branch of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence or another local organization. For contact information, visit State Resources.

Click here for the source
 
Most every community has some type of shelter or emergency assistance for those experiencing domestic violence.  Look in your local phone book or go to the sites listed above.  Be sure to use a "safe" computer where the perpetrator does not have access to.
 
Of course this post only scratches the surface of domestic violence.  Please check out these sites for further information:
~The National Domestic Violence Hot line - http://www.thehotline.org/
~Domestic Violence.org - http://www.domesticviolence.org/
~Helpguide - http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
~Women's Law - http://www.womenslaw.org/
 
Or of course you can always "google" domestic violence and get a ton of information.
 
OXOXOX,
Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging ~ Fall Fashion Colors & Trends

Sadly, summer is coming to a close!  I absolutely love fall and the nesting instinct and routine that it inspires, but here in Western New York that means winter is on the way which I am not a fan of!  However, one step at a time!   I love to add pieces to my already existing fall wardrobe and I like to see which colors are new this season.  I must say that the designers do not disappoint this fall.  The colors are vibrant which lets us add that "pop" of color to our wardrobe.  I tend to favor grays, blacks, and browns in the fall so adding a pair of shoes, scarf, or sweater can take a wardrobe from dull to wow without much effort.  There are also some pretty muted colors if vibrancy is not for you.

The chart above is found at http://www.fashiontrendsetter.com/content/color_trends/2010/Pantone-Fashion-Color-Report-Fall-2010.html.  Check it out because they offer some fashion tips as well!

I must say I am in love with the Orchid and the Lagoon!  What great colors to dress up an otherwise dreary outfit!  In fact, I purchased a pair of Orchid pumps and I cannot wait to wear them.  I envision a black outfit with a "pop" of purple color via my pumps!  Ah, such little things that make me happy!  I actually can't take credit for that idea though, ha!  I was browsing through my daughter's Glamour Magazine while relaxing at the beach and an advertisement had a woman dressed in a black dress with these purple heals and it was stunning!  Fate intervened when I saw these same pumps at Kate Spade and hubby insisted he buy them for our anniversary (okay I insisted, ha)!

Which colors do you tend to favor?  Remember too that you can add to your wardrobe rather inexpensively if you think accessories.  A bracelet, scarf, necklace, purse, or whatever can add that pizazz that you're looking for!

Enjoy the remainder of summer ladies! 

Big hugs,
Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging ~ Self-Esteem Part II

As promised last week, Beautiful Blogging this week will focus on positive self-talk which is essential if you want to achieve a healthy self-esteem!  Click here if you missed last week's post on self-esteem.  Self-talk is a pattern of behavior/thought that we usually establish in childhood.  Self-talk is the message or thought we send ourselves all day long - "gosh I am so stupid why did I forget to pick up the milk" or "oops forgot the milk but that's okay, I'll get it later, no biggy."  Most of us are unaware of what type of self-talk we are engaging in and it can be positive or negative as illustrated above.  Is your thought beneficial (positive) or harmful (negative).  Are you aware that the type of self-talk you engage in impacts your anxiety/stress level, mood, and self-esteem? 

The first step is to assess what type of self-talker you are.  Journaling can be a wonderful tool.  You can write down your negative thoughts throughout the day or write up a summary at the end of the day of all your experiences.  When you notice that you were stressed or upset in some way stop and analyze the situation.  Ask yourself what was happening and what was I feeling.  Lastly, trace this back to the thoughts you were thinking at the time.  For example, you are stuck in a traffic jam on the way home from work.  What did you feel?  Frustration, anger, anxiety, or perhaps calm, yes calm!  Track back and figure out what your were thinking as you sat in the traffic jam "crap... now dinner's gonna be late... this just tops off this awful day I've had" or "hmmm.... looks like I will be late getting home but I'll order a pizza and have a picnic with the kids instead of cooking... oh that will be fun."  Do you see the difference?  Believe it or not, it is not what's happening to or around us, but our perception of what's happening and you choose the perception!

Here's an exercise to try in your journal:
Situation:
Negative Thoughts:
Feelings:
More reasonable, positive thoughts:
Feeling:

Example:
Situation:  I weighed myself
Negative thought:  Wow, I haven't lost any weight, I am such a fat cow!
Feelings:  sad, anger, frustrated
More reasonable, positive thought:  Okay, I haven't gained any weight and I am going to the gym so I am working on it.
Feelings:  calm, motivated

Do you see how your interpretation of the situation will impact your thoughts and thus your feelings and thus your self-esteem?  I believe that many people simply do not understand how their self-talk impacts them.  Would you call your best friend a "fat cow?"  Of course not, so why would you call yourself one?

So, are you positive or negative thinker?  If you're a positive thinker congratulations!  You may leave now, ha! For those of you that fall into the negative thinking category here are a few strategies to aid in changing that behavior:

• Thought-Stopping - when you notice you are engaging in negative thought literally visualize  a big, red stop sign and tell yourself "stop!"  Next, insert a more positive thought.  If you can't readily come up with one, think of something such as a funny joke you heard, your child, or anything that automatically produces a positive feeling.  This takes practice so don't give up after a try or two.  Keep at it!
• Change self-limiting statements!  For example don't say "I can't do this" replace that thought with "How can I do this."
• Journal, journal, journal!  Everyday take some time and process your day and figure out where negative thinking interfered using the exercise above.  If you practice this, eventually you will do this in your head as it is happening or shortly thereafter.
• Ask friends and family to point out when you are expressing negative statements so you can change the pattern immediately.
• Practice, practice, practice!  Did I mention you should practice all of the above?  Remember that any pattern of behavior that we have from eating, to smoking, to self-talk takes time and consistency to change.  Don't give up!

If you find that you are struggling with this please see a therapist.  They can help guide you in changing negative patterns.  And, the good news is, if you're consistent, this pattern can change fairly quickly!

For further reference, here's a book that I have read and absolutely love:  Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem - it is an easy read and walks you through, step-by-step, in changing your pattern of thought.

I truly hope you find this helpful and I look forward to your comments!

Have a wonderful week!

OXOXOXOX,
Jacalyn

Beautiful Blogging ~ Self-Esteem Part I

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, "I am competent" or "I am incompetent") and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame.* So, how's your self-esteem?  I find that time and time again, women tend to experience a negative self-esteem.  Why is that?  Well, we can all surmise a myriad of reasons; the media, our parents, our spouse, and other external circumstances.  While these may all be true, the bottom line is: WE CREATE OUR OWN SELF-ESTEEM!  Yes, ladies, it's true.  We decide our own fate and the fact of the matter is that you may be degrading yourself!

How can this be you ask?  Why the media tells me I must look like a supermodel and that's not possible.  Estee Lauder and Elizabeth Arden tell me I must use their makeup or forget it, I will be ugly forever; my parents told me I was stupid and would never amount to anything.  Yep, that's all true too.  But, as an adult we choose!  We choose to feel good about ourselves or not.  We do this by how we "talk" to ourselves or what is known as "self-talk." 

Here's a quick test you can take to measure your self-esteem.  Why don't you take a quick break and complete it and come back here. 

So, how did  you do?  I wouldn't be surprised if many did not do as well as you thought.  What to do?  The answer is simple  yet requires your time and consistency in making a permanent change.  The website you just visited (I hope) has some answers.

• Focus on achievements.  Very important! 
• Make plans for the future.  Stop procrastinating and start planning. 
• Focus on what you like about yourself and stop highlighing what you think are your defects.  We all have strengths and we all have things we would change.  So, if you can change, do it.  If you can't, why focus on it? 

Again, all of this is so true.  However, please keep in mind that our goals need to be realistic.  For example if you're a 5'4" tall and you goal is to be a supermodel, you're probably setting yourself up for failure as we all know supermodels tend to be very tall.  So be reasonable with yourself.  Set goals that you can realistically achieve.  Also, remember to establish objectives or "small steps" to that goal.  Most goals take time and energy and we feel more productive and successful  when we establish objectives.  For example, I knew since I was in high school that I wanted to obtain a Masters Degree in Social Work.  I started attending college right out of high school but was side tracked a multitude of times for various reasons.  However, I never gave up on that goal.  I focused on what I achieved rather than what my ultimate goal was and it helped me feel successful and stay focused.  Do you know old I was when I obtained my masters degree?  32 years old!  Yep, that's correct, I was 32 after starting out at 18 but I was on top of the world the day I received my diploma.  More importantly, I never gave up.

While achievements are part of how we feel about ourselves, the vast majority of our self-esteem comes from our self-talk ~ recall the old phrase "the glass is half full.  Our style of self-talk generally develops in childhood and becomes a pattern - negative or positive.  Moreover, many of us don't even realize which type we tend to engage in.  But, if your measure of self-esteem is low, you can be sure your style is negative! 

I will devote next week's Beautiful Blogging post to self-talk.  Since it impacts our self-esteem, our anxiety and stress level, and our mood, I would like to share some strategies on how to change your self-talk from negative to positive.  Remember, it's a pattern of behavior, thus we can change this pattern.

ADDED 7/29/10 - please visit my friend Pam's blog to view her post on creative coping http://kittyandmedesigns.blogspot.com/

 Have a wonderful week!

OXOXOX,
Jacalyn


*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem

Beautiful Blogging

Happy Monday everyone!  Beautiful Blogging this week entails some easy at-home recipes that you can do yourself!  It is simply not necessary to spend huge sums of money to get great results with your beauty regimes!  So try these simply recipes with items you most likely already have and tell me what you think!

CHOCOLATE OATMEAL FACIAL SCRUB
Ingredients
2 tablespoons plains yogurt (for oily skin) or 3 tablespoons honey (for dry skin)
4 teaspoons ground oats
2 teaspoons white sugar
1 teaspoon powdered cocoa

Directions
Place all ingredients in a small bowl and stir vigorously to combine to a smooth paste.  Apply a layer to clean face and leave for 15 minutes or until mask has dried.  Rinse well with warm water and follow with your normal moisturizer.

FANTASTIC FEET
Ingredients
1 medium ripe papaya, peeled and chopped
1 cup canned crushed pineapple with juice
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons Epsom Salts
1 tablespoon white vinegar
2 plastic bags large enough to fit over your feet

Directions:
Place papaya and pineapple into a blender.  Add the cayenne, salt and vinegar and puree the mixture.
Divide the mix into 2 equal parts into the plastic bags.  WHILE SITTING DOWN, as you don't want to slip, place feet in bags and cover feet by moving them around.  Try sitting near the tub when you do this to prevent a big mess, ha!  Allow the mix to remain on your feet for 20 minutes.
Remove one foot at a time, and massage your foot to exfoliate.  Rinse thoroughly .  Apply your favorite foot butter and some white cotton socks!

SUPER EASY BODY POWDER
Ingredients
1 cup cornstarch
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon essential oil of your choice

Directions
Combine the cornstarch and baking soda in large bowl and stir slowly while adding the essential oil one drop at a time.  Pour the powder into a sifter powder container with holes in the top or put in a wide-mouthed powder container with a powder puff.

Feel free to leave some of your favorite recipes that other readers may enjoy!

Have a beautiful week!

Hugs,
Jacalyn
Source:  The Handmade Beauty Cookbook   Johnson, Donna Marie Coles 2004

Beautiful Blogging ~ The Beauty of the Bath

Do you think of bathing only in terms of cleansing? If so, you may be missing out on the potential benefits of bathing? Did you know that bathing has been around since 2000 B.C.? The ancient Romans, for example, used bathing as an important part of their daily ritual. They understood the therapeutic advantages of water and they created elaborate bathing rituals including the use of scented oils. Unfortunately, when the Roman Empire was overthrown in the 5th century, the tribes who conquered Rome found their obsession with cleanliness impertinent. Moreover, the church expressed disapproval of this indulgence, thus these rituals disappeared.

The 18th century saw a revival of bathing when once again the therapeutic effects of water came to light. Spas were established in Europe and the U.S. For those seeking water therapy. Also, the discovery that germs spread disease altered attitudes towards bathing. While initially seen as indulgent, rooms established solely for cleansing gained popularity and by the end of the 19th century, owning a bathroom was viewed as a status symbol.

Bathing today need not be boring nor for the sole purpose of cleaning our bodies. It should be a time to care for your body, mentally and physically! Creating your own additives can help aid some common problems. Please seek medical advice before using any of these suggestions. Some essential oils can interfere if you're pregnant or suffering from any medical problems.

~Use cleansing baths to your advantage by detoxifying too which can aid in reviving your system. Steep your herbs in hot water for 15 – 20 minutes, strain and add the liquid to your bath. Tie the herbs in a cheesecloth and attach to the faucet while you are running your water. Some examples of what to add: 2 cups of apple cider which has an energizing and cleansing effect; nutmeg or lavender which promotes perspiration and can aid in expelling toxins from your body. The added scent of the items provides a bonus!

~Moisturizing baths are important because of course bathing in hot water can be drying to your skin. I suggest using natural oils which can be found at your local supermarket or health food store. Remember to use no more that 2 teaspoons, otherwise your skin will become too greasy. For dry skin try avocado or Castor oil; for oily skin try lighter oils such as calendula or safflower; for normal skin choose almond, jojoba or apricot oil. Sea salts can also be very moisturizing and nurturing as they are high in minerals which are easily absorbed into the skin. The salts are said to ease problems such as psoriasis and eczema but they surely ease or aches and pains and leave the skin super soft! Please use caution as oils or salts may make the tub slippery.
~Relaxing Baths ~ ah there's nothing like a nice hot bath, is there? Try adding some natural products to enhance this relaxation or promote sleep! Adding camomile or lavender leaves to your bath adds therapeutic benefits as it is absorb through your skin, But breathing in the calming scents can be beneficial as well. Also, don't forget about the therapeutic qualities of essential oils too. Try adding 5 drops each of neroli, lavender, and lemon to calm and soothe!

( This photo is linked to Nourish your Spirit and has some cool lavender recipes. Click the picture to visit).
~Decongestant baths can be so helpful when you're down with the flu or a cold. Add some peppermint leaves to your bath to help stimulate and clear mucus from your nose and sinuses. Sage is a great additive when you suffer from muscle aches and pains (AVOID this if you are pregnant).

There are so many options today to enhance the quality of our bath. Take the time to enjoy your bath and reap the benefits of water therapy. You might even add to the experience by lighting scented candles or by bringing a good book and just soak in the tub for a few minutes.

OXOXOX,
Jacalyn

P.S. Please click on any picture and you'll visit the site where I obtained them.
Source: Bathing for Health, Beauty, & Relaxation Gizowska, Eva 1998

Beautiful Blogging ~ a few of my favorite things!

For this week's Beautiful Blogging Post I thought I would do a post on a few of my favorite things. As with any of us, I have a few select products that I simply cannot live without, ha! Honestly, if I were stranded on a desert island I would just have to bring my mascara! Food and water would be nice too but we all have our "must haves" and these are mine:

Sumptuous Mascara by Estee Lauder! I have literally searched for years for the perfect mascara and EL came out with this about two years ago and I haven't tried another mascara since! This gives you big, bold, long, curled lashes without too much clumping! I love, love, love it!

A couple years ago I was listening to a local radio station as the DJ was interviewing a makeup artist. His tip was to use Lash Discovery as a base coat. The tiny brush allows you to coat all of your lashes. So now, I use this as my primer because it coats every little lash and then follow with two coats of Sumptuous.

Okay, I'll admit it, this is a rather shameless plug, ha! But, truth be told this is truly one of my favorite products! I made this sugar scrub because I simply could not find one I liked. I've always hated salt scrubs because they tend to burn if you shave or have any cuts etc... on your skin. Whenever I have any dry skin, summer or winter, I use this scrub and instantly the dry skin is gone! It scrubs off all of the dead, dry skin while the oils stay behind to soften skin. I use this regularly on my legs to keep them soft! I love to put some on and leave it for a few minutes as it forms a type of "mask." I have to say, there are more choices out there these days but this of course is my fav, he he!

I have been using mineral makeup for years. But recently I discovered a new brand (you know I have to try them all, ha). Pur Minerals makes the one shown here and it's the best that I have found. I have some acne and redness and this covers it so well. I know they all claim to have great coverage but in my opinion Pur beats them all! I love the feel of mineral makeup on my skin rather than liquid makeup and I am so glad to have found this! Yay!I know, I know! I make my own bath products! But still, I love to try new items and I love to mix things up! This soak has been one of my favorites for some time. I love using it after working out or whenever my muscles are sore. It is so nurturing. The only down fall to this is not everything dissolves in the water and there is a blue residue left behind. Easy enough to clean up though. BTW, I love the whole La Source line!

Please feel free to comment as I would love to hear what every one's favorites are!

Click on any of the pictures and it will take you right to the source! I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

OXOXOX,

Jacalyn